The Steps, The Paper, And a Bridge
A few hundred steps and a piece of paper hold significance for the 900 students who are graduating from Calvin later this month. Together, they signify the crossing of a major metaphorical bridge.
Senior Kati Pohler 鈥18, a music and public health double major, is set to cross that bridge. But nine months earlier, she took a few hundred steps across a literal bridge, halfway around the world. The walk changed her life: bridging her present with her past. And it started with a piece of paper.
TWO EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE
bodyimage1It鈥檚 1996 and two families, separated by 7,116 miles, are about to begin an unexpected journey with all the makings of a Hollywood blockbuster. Ken Pohler 鈥73 and his wife, Ruth from Hudsonville, Michigan, have two young boys and are feeling led to adopt from China. Xu Lida and Qian Fenxiang, from Hangzhou, China, are pregnant with their second daughter.
With China鈥檚 one-child policy being strictly enforced and village officials threatening to level Xu and Qian鈥檚 house if they don鈥檛 abort the child, Xu and Qian flee 80 miles away to Suzhou and give birth on a boat in a Suzhou canal. The couple try to find a relative or close friend to raise the child but to no avail.
With no other options, Xu heads to a highly trafficked area of town and leaves the baby in a basket to be taken to an orphanage. But it鈥檚 what else is in this basket that makes the story so compelling.
THE NOTE
Meanwhile in Hudsonville, the Pohlers receive a call from Bethany Christian Services that in just seven months they鈥檒l be able to meet their new daughter. The Pohlers are shocked at how quickly the process is moving.
The real shocker comes later that year when they pick her up. Their closed adoption is suddenly complicated, in essence, opened, by an item found in that basket: a note. Written in Chinese characters, the Pohlers hand it to a translator from Bethany.
鈥淪he is crying while she鈥檚 reading it,鈥 recalls Ruth. 鈥淲e鈥檙e like, 鈥榃hat鈥檚 going on?鈥 鈥 Then she shared it with us and then we again had my brother-in-law鈥檚 mom who is Chinese look at it and different people would translate it a little differently, but basically it was like: 鈥楽he was loved and the government forced them to do this.鈥
鈥淪o, it was very touching,鈥 Ruth said.
The remaining content of the note moves this story from compelling to unbelievable. Xu requests to meet his daughter on the Broken Bridge in Hangzhou, China, in 10 or 20 years.
鈥淭he fact that we are going to meet on some bridge in 10 years in China, you gotta be kidding me? How would we do that? So, I kind of put it on the backburner,鈥 said Ruth.
LIFE GOES ON
The Pohlers name their daughter Catherine (Kati) and keep a folder of items鈥攊ncluding the note鈥攔elated to her adoption in her closet.
鈥淭here were times when I was curious,鈥 said Kati, 鈥渁nd I remember climbing to get it [the folder] down. I knew it was there and that I could ask questions if I wanted to.鈥
鈥淚 think that they did a brave thing. I think their decision to send someone to the bridge was good and they obviously never knew how that was going to all turn out.鈥 KATI POHLER 鈥18
Kati doesn鈥檛 remember asking many questions about her adoption or her identity. Ruth doesn鈥檛 either, except questions early on, such as: 鈥淒id I come from your tummy?鈥 To which Ruth answered: 鈥淵ou came from a woman in China, but you were born of my heart.鈥 And Ruth recalls Kati being satisfied with that response.
鈥淚 think I told her we had a letter, some information for her, and I showed her a book that we had bought about what was happening in China when she was born,鈥 said Ruth. 鈥淲e kept telling her if you have any questions about your adoption we鈥檇 gladly talk to you about it.鈥
But life carries on as normal in Hudsonville, until the 10-year mark approaches and the Pohlers entertain a dinner guest, a friend who did a lot of engineering work in China. They tell their friend about the letter, and he tells the Pohlers that he has friends who live in Suzhou and asks them if they want him to have a 鈥渟cout鈥 visit the bridge at the 10-year mark to connect with the parents. They agree and prepare a letter for the occasion.
A TWIST
The birthparents show up on the bridge that day, but another twist in the plot (the scout missing her train) seems to spoil the plan鈥攗ntil the scout notices a TV crew on the bridge filming an unrelated documentary. The scout explains her reason for visiting, asks to see their footage, and discovers a couple on the bridge.
The camera crew discovers 鈥淭V gold,鈥 interviews the scout, and the story soon catches the attention of both the Chinese media and Kati鈥檚 birthparents. 鈥淚t was getting a little bigger than we ever thought it would get,鈥 said Ken.
THE FINAL PUZZLE PIECE
A few years later, enter Chang Changfu, a professor in Pennsylvania who does documentaries on adoptions and regularly visits China looking for stories. He learns of this incredible story and finds his way to the Pohlers.
鈥淲e told him we鈥檇 talk to him if he kept our name out of it,鈥 said Ken. 鈥淲e didn鈥檛 want our daughter to deal with this at this point in her life.鈥
Changfu informs the birthparents that he has located Kati鈥檚 adoptive parents and begins serving as the bridge between the two, exchanging letters for the next eight years.
SEEKING MORE ANSWERS
In 2015, Kati is ready to study abroad in Spain. Two days before she leaves, she has questions.
鈥淚 thought I鈥檒l probably get more questions there [about my past] since nobody knows me, and so that鈥檚 when I asked my mom directly, 鈥榃hat do you know? I just want to make sure I have everything straight.鈥 鈥 I know they always said your birthparents loved you, and I was like, 鈥業s that them saying this to a little girl or is that really true?鈥, I couldn鈥檛 really figure out what was actually reality.鈥
Ruth shares with Kati that they have been communicating with her birthparents through Dr. Changfu. Once Kati returns from Spain that winter, the pursuit of her past intensifies.
鈥淚 Googled his [Dr. Changfu鈥檚] name and found his blog, and I was reading the blog post and I was like, 鈥極h wait, this is about me.鈥 And so that was super surreal.鈥
Then she watches his adoption DVD featuring her birthparents. 鈥淭hat was my first time hearing them and really hearing their message and what they wanted to say to me,鈥 recalls Kati.
RESTORING WHAT鈥橲 BROKEN
After meeting Changfu and learning even more, Kati agrees to participate in a dramatic reunion, complete with a BBC documentary crew on the Broken Bridge in Hangzhou.
鈥淚 was definitely pretty nervous. I could tell I was doing my nervous habits, but I was also excited, and we just kept driving around because we had to time it perfectly,鈥 recalls Kati. 鈥淕etting out and walking down the bridge, I just remember, saying 鈥極K, you only do this once, so here we go.鈥欌
And so, with cameras rolling and crowds gathering, the climax of the movie unfolds. More importantly, a mother and father鈥檚 20-year longing is fulfilled, and a daughter鈥檚 identity deepened.
鈥淚 think that they did a brave thing,鈥 Kati said of her adoptive parents. 鈥淚 think their decision to send someone to the bridge was good and they obviously never knew how that was going to all turn out.鈥
But now millions of people do. And ultimately Kati is glad her story has reached so many.
鈥淚鈥檓 glad it鈥檚 starting a conversation about adoption. That鈥檚 what I wanted to do,鈥 said Kati. 鈥淚 have been in contact with people who have or are going to be in a similar situation and so just talking with them and sharing my experience, it is helpful for some.鈥
And the story continues to unfold. Kati stays in regular contact with her birthparents through text and Skype. 鈥淢y dad (Xu) still texts me good morning and good night every day.鈥
She鈥檚 also planning on teaching English as a Second Language next year in China, within driving distance of her birthparents.
鈥淚鈥檓 definitely glad that I know, even with the complexity of it. I鈥檝e made my birthparents so happy and that feels good 鈥 it hasn鈥檛 drastically changed my identity, but it鈥檚 definitely added a lot to it and that鈥檚 really enriching.鈥
And it all started with a piece of paper 鈥 and ended with a few hundred bold steps.